Long ago, in the glowing halls of the live stream, a humble trader took up a most noble visage — the potato — and was thereby transformed into Lord Spudnick, sovereign of the charts, keeper of the golden wedges, the 67 King.
From his throne of crisply fried gold he presides over candles green and red alike, unmoved by the turbulence of the market, for a king forged of starch does not crumble. At his left hand stands the ketchup. At his right hand stands more ketchup. Thus is the realm balanced.
And though the day of his birth hath passed, the court assembles still — for by royal decree, every day is the King's birthday in the eyes of the law. The reign: loyal, jovial, and forever golden.
Article IIThe Royal Archives
Deeds of the King, immortalized upon the moving portraits of the realm. The court scribes maintain these records at the Tradeify TV vaults.
Exhibit I · “The King’s After-Dark Court”
Exhibit II · “Forsooth, the Realm Hath Done the Damn Thing”
Exhibit III · “Prep That Booty.”
Exhibit IV · “The King Doth Defend the Sweet Potato’s Honor”
Exhibit V · “Thy Serene Monk”
Article IIIThe Royal Summons
All loyal subjects are hereby summoned to attend the court in session, where the King holds audience amidst the candles of the futures market.
The Court Is in Session — Watch LiveRecorded sessions reside at the Tradeify TV vaults.